Paris Hilton doesn’t change and other stuff

The morning after her release, Paris Hilton quickly received 20-inch long hair extensions. When The Insider asked Paris if she would be taking the new do out on the town, she replied, “Wouldn’t you?” The statement contradicts her previous claims to Barbara Walters that she is a changed person and no longer “that superficial girl.”

Liar. Paris has the self restraint of a goat. Tonight she’s going to get drunk at a club, do a few lines and pass out with her head in a guy’s crotch. Tomorrow they’ll ask her about her how she plans to help people. Paris will act all confused like they were talking in another language and then she’ll wave her hands in front of her mouth and say “No speaka English.”

On that note, here’s some fu