“What’s this craggy bitch goin’ on about?” I’m playin’. God, I love that sky-blue Princess Leia vest she’s rockin’. Where can I get that for my next humanitarian mission? Man, mention Angie is trying to do something good and claws pop out and people start hissing like a deflating tire or a neon sign. It’s not like she’s trying to bring anorexia to a war-torn nation! She’s not gonna just stay at home in New Orleans in a burka! This bitch is busy! She’s in NYC! She’s filming in Chicago! She’s in Syria! She’s not holding a lit cigarette near her child’s face and then exchanging him for a margarita and a wig. And I don’t see Aniston’s ass over there! She’s too busy trying to sell me 50 Cent’s water!

Angelina Jolie wrapped up a two-day trip to Syria and Iraq Tuesday in her role as a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Jolie took this trip to witness the hundreds of thousands of families uprooted by the war in Iraq and to visit with US soldiers.

A source close to Jolie told Huffington Post, “It’s been in the works for about six months. She spent a lot of time being briefed by experts. She met with a large number of experts on Syria, Iraq, the refuge crisis and other issues in preparation for the trip.” The source added, “She considered her time with American troops to be one of the most important parts of the trip.”

Yeah, this ain’t no Hanoi Jane mess! Keep reading for how one American soldier got the thrill of his young life.

More photos of Angelina Jolie visiting refugees in Iraq are after the jump.

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