(AP)

…so she can rule over New Jersey with an iron fist. Just kidding, of course. Because if that were actually the prize of winning a beauty pageant, I would have tried to get in on that action back in the day. After Amy Polumbo first announced that she was being blackmailed by an individual who had attained some very mildly racy pictures of the beauty queen getting her party on from her Facebook account and was threatening to go public with them, Polumbo decided the best way to diffuse the situation was to show the pictures on the Today show. The pix were nothing compared to a Friday night spent in Hollywood, but as Miss New Jersey herself describes them, portrayed her behaving “not in a ladylike manner.” Taking that into consideration, the pageant officials decided to allow Polumbo to retain her crown.

“I’m very happy about this decision, and I look forward to resuming my agenda as Miss New Jersey,” said a smiling Polumbo, who blew kisses to audience members during the announcement.

Somewhere, Tara Connor is looking up from a puddle of her own sick, slurring, “You call that a scandal? Please, back in elementary school–” before passing back out on the floor. Just kidding! She went to rehab and is all better now! Yay!

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