• Choose Hillary Clinton's new campaign song. (Our money's on Notorious B.I.G.'s "Big Booty Ho's.")

• McDonald's employee hides his stash of pot in a Happy Meal. Then accidentally distributes it and loses his McJob.

• Meg Ryan goes shopping with her daughter, makes us nostalgic for the days of shag haircuts and "I'll have what she's having."

• Large breasted reality "star" attempts to land herself a husband by standing in London's Leicester Square, naked save for a strategically placed white belt, clutching a bridal bouquet.

• Britney Spears remembers to wear a bra; forgets to wear a non-transparent blouse.

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