(Splash)

More details are coming to light concerning the child abuse allegations against our poor little lamb. It’s been revealed that the L.A. County Department of Family and Children Services isn’t investigating any physical mistreatment of JJ and SPF. So Britney isn’t using the kids for skeet shooting, which is nice. The complaints being investigated involve the children’s dental hygiene and eating and sleeping habits. Because you know she’s rousing their asses from the crib when she gets home from the club. “Wake up, little guyz! Let Momma show you her new hickey! Yay!” As for who leveled these accusations, it doesn’t require a graphing calculator or a grant from MIT. It wasn’t me, and it wasn’t Bea Arthur.

Curiously, although DCFS keeps these allegations secret, they ended up in legal papers filed today by K-Fed’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, suggesting it might have been Fed-Ex himself who lodged the complaint.

Reports are also saying that the DCFS also received an anonymous complaint about Britney’s parenting that was filed on July 2. By K-Fed using a faux British accent. I don’t know if that last part’s true, but listening to a weedy scrub trying to do a British accent is probably the only fun part of this whole mess. She’s gonna lose those kids!

(WENN)

More photos of a busted Britney Spears are after the jump.

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