A dog and a frappucino shouldn’t be substitutes for your babies, Daisy Mae! I would like to wholeheartedly apologize for the Britney overload. We’re just trying to do our jobs. There has to be a paper trail for whenever this reaches the sad climax. Hopefully the sad climax is her hitting bottom and getting herself some help. But we all know it’s going to be a tanning bed overdose and a really tacky funeral with a lot of pink and mourners in Juicy sweatsuits with visible whale tails. Hey ya’ll, welcomes to my wake! Enjoy the pigs in blankets! The county commissioner is stepping up the demands on Britney Spears. Did you know she SLEPT THROUGH the drug tests she was supposed to be available for?

Britney Spears must complete three joint counseling sessions with ex-husband Kevin Federline by their next hearing date of Oct. 26, a court ruled Wednesday.

The commissioner specified that “a missed [drug] test, refusal to submit to a test, or failure to respond to the testing agency’s call … shall be deemed by the court as a failed test,” the documents read. Spears, 25, is still expected to complete twice-weekly random testing for drugs and alcohol.

A source told the Los Angeles Times that Spears reportedly slept through two random drug-test appointments. Another time, Spears was unavailable to be tested at home.

Britney also has to complete three individual counseling sessions before the next hearing. “Yer office is really nice, is this where you shrink mah head?” On a sad note, Britney’s Mom Lynne Spears had something to say. Keep reading.

(Splash)

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