Cable Quotables

Tuesday afternoons are always good for one thing: staring out the window and wishing it was already Friday. And while we can’t bring you an early weekend, we can offer you another entertaining round of Cable Quotables, and explain why Intern Wendy has been walking around all week calling Rosie O’Donnell a “triple threat.”

• “You’ve never watched this show, have you?” Glenn Beck, realizing even Larry King has good taste, Glenn Beck, May 17

• “Have you ever seen a shank, Ray Giudice? How do I know she’s not going to show up with one of these.” Nancy Grace, anticipating Paris Hilton’s full body cavity search, Nancy Grace, May 17

• “She has triple coverage as a minority. She‘s a woman; she‘s a lesbian; and she‘s fat. We can‘t do anything with her. She‘s like a spotted owl. She‘s an endangered species. She‘s protected by the government.” Adam Carolla, on why Rosie O’Donnell is a national treasure, Scarborough Country, May 17

• “If cavemen had microwaves everything would have moved along faster” Willie Geist, wondering what the Paleolithic Era would have been like with “Hot Pockets,” Tucker, May 18

• “Well, is he Raymond Burr, Marlon Brando, or what—or more recognizably just a little heavy?” Chris Matthews, judging Al Gore’s weight on a sliding scale, Hardball, May 18


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