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• A judge issued a temporary restraining order preventing the release of a tape from 1994 documenting Anna Nicole Smith’s breast augmentation surgery. There’s actually someone out there wanting to see this tape? [GH]
• Who was the singer allegedly caught smoking crack in a restroom stall at Lollapalooza? The usual suspect, of course. [CW]
• We finally have an explanation for Mena Suvari’s buzz cut: the actress lost her hair for a role in the film adaptation of Hemingway’s “The Garden of Eden.” [EB]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes suffered a bit of public embarrassment last week after being denied entrance to a St. Tropez hot spot. [CNW]
• Check out the new video from Bjork for her single “Innocence.” [Stereogum]
• Katherine McPhee had a wind-induced wardrobe malfunction of the set of her upcoming film. [RR]

Anna Nicole Smith’s sister, Donna Hogan, has decided that she’d like to physically transform herself into her late sister. Ah, what a lovely and not at all DISTURBING way to pay tribute to a late sibling. The Texan housewife in her forties revealed her plans to dye her hair and get her breasts enlarged so that she may chat up Hugh Hefner in the hopes of posing in Playboy. Cause the only thing better than a hot mess, is a hot NAKED forty-something mess up in Playboy.

“A few years ago, Playboy approached me and I almost agreed to do it. But I was too chicken. My boobs weren’t big enough,” Hogan tells Steppin’ Out’s Chaunce Hayden. “But now, if Playboy called, I would probably do it. I just had a birthday and I’m going to treat myself to new boobs.”

And by “a few years ago,” you know she can’t possibly mean any less than ten, and mostly likely with the understanding that Anna pose in the spread with her sister. Oh, but these physical enhancements she has planned aren’t just to be used for the purposes of advancing her budding soft-core porn career, Hogan also wants to use her new assets for the purpose of getting back at Howard K. Stern, Anna’s former lawyer and partner.

“I could just slap the [bleep] out of him. I’d love to just beat the [bleep] out of him. But instead I think I’ll just torture him . . . hug and kiss on him and act like I like him, then just walk away and leave him like that, all sexually frustrated.”

This one’s got some grand plans. As if all a woman needed to get a guy turned on is giant breasts and a head of blond hair. (*Nervous laughter*) Please! Straight men are much more complicated than that!

Right?

• Only days after turning to the Bible for comfort, Paris Hilton does what any other future jailbird would do: she consoles herself with Happy Feet. Related: Rich heiresses shop at Blockbuster; eschew pricey Netflicks membership fee.
• Anna Nicole Smith’s 40-something ugly duckling of a sister vows to keep the Smith tradition of giant fake […]

(WENN)

I doubt that if Anna Nicole would have been around for it, that she would have been sending Virgie Arthur a Mother’s Day card. Unless they sell cards with nail bombs inside of them. In the latest revelation from her memoirs, the description Anna Nicole paints of her relationship simply adds to the whole theory that maybe they didn’t get along so well. These journal pages are different ones than the ones that were recently auctioned off for half a million dollars and will be posted online, according to a representative for Universal Rarities, the company that plans on auctioning off the 60 handwritten pages.

One entry begins, “I’m a very sad person,” and is illustrated by a weeping face. Smith goes on to write that “my mom hates me so much. She is so jealous of me. … I love my mom but I cant handle it anymore.”

One thing that did lift her spirits, though, was the prospect of her breast-enhancement surgery.

“I’m so excited I could scream. Ahhhhh I just feel so happy,” Smith writes, although she later expresses worry about the imminent operation and how she’ll look.

Hey, fake boobs are a girl’s best friend. She also expresses surprise and trepidation over the news that she had become pregnant with her son, Daniel, stating, “Can’t do it!” As much as I joke, I have a feeling my diaries (were I not so incredibly lazy and actually kept some) would probably be just as simplistic. I can see the headlines after my death, “Lisa Timmons Obsessed with Cupcakes and Netflix!” I’m really into seeing my name in headlines lately…

(WENN)

The drama continues. Howard K. Stern is the named executor of Anna’s will, and Larry Birkhead has filed as the sole custodian of lil’ Dannielynn. It looks like Anna’s fortune is valued as around 700K. Uh, wait - what about the gajillion she won from her old dead decrepit husband? Is that still tied up? I thought the guy that was fighting her on that kicked? Jesus, everybody in this case dies.

Birkhead asks the court to name him as guardian “in order to represent his daughter’s interest in the probate proceedings for the Estate of Vickie Lynn Marshall, aka Anna Nicole Smith.” Birkhead’s hearing is set for June 19. Meanwhile, according to Smith’s will, Howard Stern has been named special administrator as well as executor of her estate. Smith’s personal attorney Ron Rale was named second executor.

The will, which Smith signed and dated on July 30th, 2001, before Dannielynn’s birth and son Daniel’s death, lists her sole child as Daniel Wayne Smith. The will directs that all of Smith’s property, after the payment of taxes, be distributed to Howard Stern, who will hold it in a trust for her child, Daniel. Once the child reaches 25, the will provides they will be given one third all the income and one half the principal of the trust. At age 35, her child will be given all the remaining principal of the trust. It states that Smith’s spouse is deceased and has no registered domestic partner. Smith’s estate’s current estimated value is listed as $710,000.

Virgie Smith is still hovering around in her Lark. She has vowed to fight for custody of her granddaughter. Because 700,000 ducats will buy a lot of Cossack vodka and those little cordon bleu chicken cutlets that you can microwave.