Archive for the 'Jessica Alba' Category

Gigolo And Pimp

Friday, September 28th, 2007

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I probably should lighten up on this guy. He’s just doing his job. He’s probably ready to charge a cop with a knife right now to put himself out of his misery. Can you imagine her saying anything that isn’t vindictive or self-important? Me neither. Here’s Jessica Alba taking man-whore Cash Warren to work his corner and later, possibly having kidnapped a baby. That poor little bastard. Someone sound an Amber alert!

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(Flynet)

More photos of Jessica Alba with Cash Warren and child are after the jump.

Gigolo

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007

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I’m sorry, he would have to be. No matter how hot this bitch is to the straights, there’s no way your peepee can stay hard past all that self-involvement and whining and trying to be funny and just ruining people’s souls with her personality. She’s odious. Here’s Jessica Alba dressing up Cash Warren in her love. Look at her trying to dress him to her liking. Maybe that part is tolerable. Isn’t he like a meter maid or something? Or he was? Isn’t it like her to date a non-rich guy that she can easily manipulate. EVIL! Why doesn’t she just go with Dane Cook. At least that ups the chances of some crazy taking them both out during a red carpet shooting. Two irritating birds, one delicious stone.

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(Flynet)

More photos of Jessica Alba and Cash Warren are after the jump.

Jerks Make Movie Together

Thursday, September 20th, 2007

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Ugh, look at these two. Dane Cook is every angry funny guy ever except he’s not funny and he allegedly steals all his jokes and then gets homicidally angry when you call him on it. Jessica Alba finds her good looks to be a “burden”. There’s nothing wrong with these two that a plane crash can’t handle. They made a movie called “Good Luck Chuck” and during it there was an oral sex accident in Dane’s trailer and Alba chipped one of her chiclets.

“Dane and I had a nice little love scene and we actually smashed faces and he chipped my tooth on his tooth, so I have a fake tooth now because of Dane - thanks Dane!” laughed the star, who wore a short silver Prada dress for the LA premiere of the new comedy.

You know she was servicing and her boyfriend blew up her cell and Dane got nervous he was gonna get his ass beat and moved too quickly and she was sounding him with something hard and she hit her tooth on it. It sucks when talentless people get rich and famous. I need something to cheer me up, Oh look, Eddie Murphy has a new transvestite! Wheee!

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(Flynet/WENN)

Many more photos (Jessica Alba, Dane Cook, Eddie Murphy, Traci Edmonds, Jim Belushi, Deborah Gibson) from the premiere of “Good Luck Chuck” are after the jump.

Social Events Of The Week

Saturday, September 8th, 2007

Social Events Of The Week

Just Cavalli New York Flagship Opening, New YorkI may have liked Jennifer Lopez’ outfit here if she had lost the hat.Simple, yet gorgeous. I love that Diane Kruger did not accessorize this dress, as it did not need it.Beautiful colour on her.I am loving Mary J Blige’s new do. I am glad […]

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Jessica Alba Holds Grudges

Monday, August 27th, 2007

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Jessica Alba has a chip on her shoulder. It’s slightly in front of the burden on her back. You know, the one from being gorgeous? She chose the Teen Choice Awards to air her grievance with a boy she knew in high school. I might think this was touching and funny if I didn’t think she’s a straight-up bitch. Seriously, she complains about being pretty. Tell that to my pustules! Ok, that was gross - but Mondays are rough up in here.

“I would like to dedicate this award to a young man who has been on my mind for the last 19 years: Ross,” Jessica Alba, 26, told a rapt audience as she accepted the female hottie award. “Ross didn’t love me. I was pigeon-toed, I had a sway back, I was slightly cross-eyed, buck-toothed, I sucked my thumb.” She added, with a laugh: “Look at me now, Ross! Look at me now!”

Ross looked from the TV to his fourth toddler who just put her poopy diaper on the dog’s head and then at his wife who hasn’t lost the baby weight, and thought about their ugly lawn and how much he hates his job and cocked his revolver. Way to destroy a family, Jessica!

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(Flynet)

Teen Choice Awards - Strapless Trend

Monday, August 27th, 2007

Teen Choice Awards - Strapless Trend

Strapless was the biggest trend of the night with 6 ladies opting this style.For me Sophia Bush wore this trend best by wearing her hair up. Kelly Clarkson did not fair so well in a dress that just did not suit her shape.Sourceredcarpetfashionawards.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default?alt=rss

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Teen Choice Awards: The Sweethearts

Monday, August 27th, 2007

Teen Choice Awards: The Sweethearts

It’s like high school all over again! The 2007 Teen Choice Awards brought out three sweetheart stand outs. The Sweethearts chose the girly-girl route and if they formed a high school clique they’d be the always nice, always perfect ones. What made these ladies true sweethearts were their wide smiles and ladylike poses. It’s tough […]

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Teen Choice Awards: Love It or Hate It Round Up

Monday, August 27th, 2007

Teen Choice Awards: Love It or Hate It Round Up

The Teen Choice Awards green-grass carpet brought out all the usual suspects: from movie stars to the High School Musical kids to the MTV reality starlets. Did you love or hate what they were wearing or how they did their makeup? We’d love to know, so join in on the fun by clicking […]

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Teen Choice Awards: Best Dressed!

Monday, August 27th, 2007

Teen Choice Awards: Best Dressed!

Here’s how my style emotions ran during the Teen Choice Awards arrivals on the green-grass carpet: Jessica immediately brightened my mood, as well as Hilary and her super sequined frock. Then I got a little bored, dinner break, then hello Fergie! You know I’m not the biggest fan, but she stole my heart with her […]

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Jessica Alba Back with Her Ex?

Thursday, August 23rd, 2007

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(Flynet)

Oh, look at Jessica Alba, my arch-nemesis. Here she is, on her way to or from lunch, I’m not sure and she’s looking casual and her bag looks expensive. Why do I harbor a grudge against her? No good reason. It just feels right. But I can at least somewhat sympathize with her, since it sounds like she’s currently going through a little dance I like to call the old “on-again, off-again” shuffle. If you’ve ever tried breaking up with a long-term loved one, then you know what I’m talking about. Glam Scene reports that Jessica and her very recent ex, Cash Warren, were spotted together yesterday.

My spies tell me that their romance is still very much alive. The cute couple was spotted this morning taking a sweet stroll on the beach in Pacific Palisades.

Hmm. Well, this could mean a lot of things. Perhaps they’re giving it another go, or maybe it’s just some short-term break-up sex, or more likely, Jessica’s remembering that maybe she should smooth things over a bit until she can make sure exactly what digital media is still on Cash’s hard drive. I’m hoping for the latter.

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Jessica Continues Her Walk to Lunch After the Jump