I turned around right before taking this picture because I heard the gravelly voice of what I believed what a salty, old sailor asking me, “Hey, sweetie. Gotta light?” Just kidding–y’all know I don’t actually take these pix more than half the time, but seriously, I have a feeling it went down like that. And speaking of our girl Linds, Tony Allen, who had been rumored to be romantically involved with La Lohan is giving us all the whole “we’re just friends” speech. Allen, who spent forty-five days of rehab at the Cirque Lodge where Lindsay is currently receiving treatment in Utah, said of the starlet, “She is my friend.” Additionally, he told People magazine that she seems to be making progress on her road to recovery.

“There’s no cycle of guilt or shame anymore,” says Allen. “She wants to give back to her fans and the people that care about her, and she wants to be able to share her many talents,” says Allen. “She’s very focused on recovery right now.”

Tony, an aspiring musician, also chatted with Extra about the status of his friendship with Lindsay last week . Hmm. Aspiring musician you say? How…unique.

Lindsay Lohan is completely, completely delusional. She’s confused her existence with those of the classic Hollywood screen sirens from yesteryear. She thinks she’s some gown wearing tragic actress in black and white instead of a spoiled, crazy truck stop prostitute willing herself double jointed for drug money. This picture is of her ex-drug buddy, Callum Best. She thinks they had a tragic star-crossed romance. Yeah, star-crossed over a pipe or a burning spoon.

“People are going to say things. Like Marilyn and JFK or Frank Sinatra. It’s just history repeating itself.”

Delusions of grandeur. You stay in Utah until you straighten your madness out. Go get a real job as a cleaning lady or work at a dentist’s office or something and get your head out of your ass. And don’t bang this guy anymore. He looks like the kind of guy who will cheat at cards, steal from your purse, and hit on your boyfriend when you’re not looking. I know the type.

(WENN)

(Flynet)

The Lohan family seems to have so many legal problems these days, it’s hard to keep track of who’s battling whom. At the moment, the legal entanglement that’s most pressing is the suit made against Lindsay by the other driver in her October 2005 car accident. Lindsay’s being sued for at least $200,000 with Raymundo Ortega claiming that the starlet admitted to have had drunk a few drinks before getting behind the wheel. However, Lindsay’s lawyers are saying that it isn’t so–that Ortega is merely using Lindsay’s rehab to influence the outcome of the proceedings–but an L.A. Superior Court judge recently denied Linday’s request that certain parts of the lawsuit be dismissed. Ortega’s lawyer, Robert G. Klein stands firm by his client’s allegation that Lindsay was tipsy.

“The fact that Ms. Lohan was admitted to rehab for alcohol abuse shortly after this accident raised a presumption that at the time of his accident she was under the influence.”

Well, if she wasn’t drinking then, she sure could use a drink right about now, I’m guessing. I know I could. I mean, it’s nearly lunch time and I have all this writing to do.

I’m guessing Lindsay’s hat is referring to the faith she has in her ability to make a comeback from this career tailspin she’s experiencing. Lindsay Lohan is looking to get her finances back in order. It appears that her crazy drug and clothing spending sprees have taken a toll on her bank accounts and the starlet is now under very strict supervision by her mother. A source revealed to Star magazine:

“Dina must think Lohan is a serious addict, and she’s afraid if she gives her even $20, she’ll run out and buy drugs and booze.”

However, Lindsay was able to get some financial help from a music industry insider, despite the fact that Damon Dash, 50 Cent and Calum Best all have refused to give Lindsay any money and it sounds like Lindsay was less than her usual gracious self when she received it.

“She explained her money was ‘tied up.’ She wasn’t even nice about it. She said ‘I’m good for it, I’ll make a huge comeback. I am, after all, the most famous person on the planet right now!’”

To be quite frank, I too know what it’s like to have all my money spent because of drugs and clothes. That is, if you substitute “clothes” with “rent” and “drugs” with “peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches.” Cause that’s how I roll, sensible-like.

(Splash)

(Flynet)

Reports say that Lohan was so “oh my god, gross me out!” about having to clean the bathrooms at rehab that she decided to f*ck in the stall to make it even dirtier. Does her rehab also cover her sex addiction? All this biddy likes to do is get high and entertain the gents with her triangular mystery. I’m all for sluts just not the annoying ones. Anyway, staff at the Cirque Lodge in Utah allegedly discovered her getting railed in a stall and weren’t pleased.

“Staff were alerted to the bathroom because there were strange noises coming from inside and two voices could be heard.

“When they opened the door, Lindsay was in a compromising position with the guy — who’s also at Cirque for drug rehab.

“He was a good looking bloke — tall, with brown hair and quite muscular… just what Lindsay likes. Rumours spread like wildfire across the place that they’d been having sex.

Allegedly she’s been throwing wobblies because she doesn’t want to do chores and wants to resume the lifestyle to which she’s grown accustomed. You know, letting guys use her for anal ringtoss and doing vast amounts of booger sugar. I hope that a vast amount of Tidy Bowl was used after that sexual transaction.

Lindsay Lohan’s attention-whoring father Michael will be allowed to visit his badass daughter down at the rehab. It’s thought that this will help her rehab therapy. God, why are we rewarding people for acting like knuckleheads? She did write a song about him, though and he is the ultimate example of “I drink because you suck”.

“It was actually her older brother, Michael’s, idea. It’s a part of the healing process,” a friend said. “Lindsay will see him later this week, but she will have counselors with her. It will not be alone.”

Dina Lohan had to lift a restraining order to make this happen and reportedly thinks it’s a “good idea”. Of course she does, Entertainment Tonight is already on the way down to capture him hitting up Linds for money. Is she still reading that book upside down on the front porch and trying to appear educated? Does ANYONE buy this?

What an obvious set-up this is. She can’t read! Sources are saying that Lohan is acting the fool in rehab again. I don’t know how accurate these reports are, seeing as she looked fairly serene and happy during her wilderness walk of last week and she did release that statement. Then again, how do you tell when a junkie’s lying? Supposedly, she got caught doing drugs and getting after it in a bathroom stall. How unusual for her. That’s not like Lindsay at all.

“Lindsay got called into the director’s office on Aug. 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn’t conform to the program she’d have to leave.”

Keep reading for more details of Lohan’s rehab hijinks. it’s like “Police Academy” but in rehab!

More photos of Lindsay Lohan getting her pose in in rehab after the jump.

• Lindsay Lohan’s Sex Scene Video from “I Know Who Killed Me” [Egotastic]
• For The Love Of….. - NSFW [Dlisted]
• Another day, another Jake Gyllenhaal is gay rumor. [JJ’s Blog]
• Elijah Wood Stars in Scariest Puppetmaster Sequel Yet [Best Week Ever]
• velvet - fix me [popbytes]
• Jamie Foxx is Stupid [IDLYITW]
• What Has Laura Dern So Confused? [CityRag]
• Celebrities And Their Children [I’m Not Obsessed]
• “The Dark Knight is coming soon. [PITNB]
• Zanessa @ Teen Choice Awards 2007 [Just Jared]

Jessica Alba Is Mathematically Sexy [Hollywood Tuna]

• Renee Zellweger Looking Svelte [MollyGood]
• The Real Thing is Better [Hollywood Rag]

(Flynet)

The Los Angeles D.A. has stated that Lindsay Lohan will be charged with seven misdemeanors, but that the young actress will not be charged with a single felony. At the Beverly Hills Courthouse, the D.A. stated that the appearance of cocaine on Lohan’s person “were below the .05 grams required by office policy for felony filing,” and the troubled starlet avoided the dreaded felony charge. Additionally, at 1:30PM PST, there is a possibility that Lindsay’s legal team will be coordinating with the D.A’s office on a plea bargain. In Linday’s other DUI case, officials told TMZ that the drugs found on Lindsay “didn’t meet the threshold for filing” and that the way it was obtained by law enforcement officials has been called into question. From TMZ:

(BuzzFoto)

Lindsay Lohan has planned a photo shoot with OK! magazine and the pictures have been taken of her inside the Cirque Lodge detox treatment facility in Sundance, Utah. Using various props to illustrate that she is sticking to the program, the starlet is essentially using her sobriety as an accessory in the photos, according to the New York Daily News:

In one perfectly posed shot, a demure Lohan, her hair pulled tightly back, is reading “Alcoholics Anonymous,” AA’s 164-page “Big Book,” which mixes personal stories of redemption with a description of how the program works.

OK, so even though they make it sound like Lindsay is a part of this nonsense, this all sounds very sketchy. You’re allowed to have photo shoots in rehab? Or I guess that maybe they mean that Lindsay coordinated this somehow so that she looks like she’s doing what she’s supposed to. In any case, OK’s Sarah Ivens said that Lindsay’s really trying to make it work this time.

“She really is taking it seriously,” OK! Editor-in-Chief Sarah Ivens said. “She’s replacing L.A. and smoking with yoga and reading.”

And, Ivens said, “she hasn’t looked this good in years.”

In years? Damn, that’s a pretty well-aimed backhanded compliment, since she’s talking about a girl whose barely twenty-one years old. Sarah must be taking notes from my Aunt Gina.