• David Beckham has trouble doing his six-year-old’s math homework. Which explains why he’s convinced that he’s married to a twenty-something.
• Britney Spears reportedly had another yak attack, and was then carried out of the bar “sobbing and covered in sick.” Nice!
• Lindsay Lohan’s new boytoy is quite the catch! If by “catch” you mean […]

• Miss USA came, she fell, and she lost. Badly.
• Reactions to Lindsay’s second stint in rehab: “Lindsay Lohan has finally seen the light—and all it took was video footage of her doing cocaine, a DUI arrest, and photos of her puking on the sidewalk.”
• Michelle Williams totally has that “Brooklyn Hipster Who Sleeps With […]

And Japan’s Riyo Mori goes on to win the Miss Universe pageant.