Once again, those indefatigable trendspotters at the New York Times have been burning the midnight oil to bring us (and you!) the latest Rich Person Trend You Can’t Relate To. And today’s installment (”Pink Shirts Welcome”) offers the dish on recreational drinking preferences of white yuppie twenty-somethings who graduated—without honors—from Princeton.
Yep, the Sunday Stylers have unearthed a startling new trend amongst the former debate team captains. According to inside NYT sources, (wait for it!) elitist preppies still prefer to drink their sherries in the company of other elitist preppies. Better still, this nugget of information is delivered with uncharacteristic sarcasm, and a facetious homage to the pink shirt!
Take, for example, this cheeky introduction to Theodore Cleary, the “smooth-talking ladies man in a blue pinstripe suit and pink shirt [who] works the upstairs.”
Mr. Cleary, handsome if one considers Gary Sinese handsome, prefers meeting women in the street-level restaurant rather than in the noisier basement-level club, which usually starts hopping around 11:30 p.m., although both offer an excellent caliber of women, he said. “You don’t meet girls here you want to hook up with once,” he said. “You meet girls here you want to hook up with multiple times.”
Clementine Crawford, 25, a Princeton graduate, rephrased that sentiment from a female perspective. “Women come here looking for their future husbands.”
So put on your best Lacoste shirt, pop your collar and prepare to meet your future Republican fuckbuddy.
If you’re lucky, she’ll even remember to take the Pill instead of accidentally-on-purpose getting pregnant, trapping you into a loveless marriage, hauling your ass out to an understated 6-bedroom mansion in Westport, Connecticut and forcing you to commute an hour and half to your 80 hour/week I-Banking job.
But hey, look on the bright side. At least you had a good time boozing it up with your old Model UN buddies, Kip Von Wrigley and James Dunning III!
Plus, you know, you’ve still got that prenup.
