Since we know you’re all racking your brains on this morning’s Whodunit, we thought we’d offer you this very special extra tidbit, courtesy of this week’s Popbitch newsletter.

According to the old U.K. rumor mill, it seems one of our favorite television characters wasn’t always so PG-rated. Check out this not particularly well-disguised anecdote, and trust us—you’ll never think of “Sam Malone” the same way again.

Before his career really took off this US TV actor was a Grade A gakhead and boozer. You could almost say “cheers” was his favourite word. An ex-girlfriend of his confided to us about one night back in the 80s. She got to put on a strap-on, take the comedy star up the arse and then have the joy of doing coke off his bald spot. Wonder what a psychiatrist would say about that?

Snorting lines of a prematurely balding television actor’s chrome dome? That’s about the dumbest thing we can think of—save for the tagline of that 1993 Ted Danson/Whoopi Goldberg bomb, Made in America. (”At the sperm-bank she asked for a tall, intelligent, black man. One out of three ain’t bad.”).

Yikes!

Wonder whatever happened to that Danson guy, anyway…

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