Seriously, it's all about child custody battles and drunk celebs these days. Now that a video clip was widely circulated on the Internet of David Hasselhof on the floor, drunk, trying to eat a hamburger, while his teenage daughter cautions him from behind the camera to stop drinking. So, of course, in this highly public battle over popular opinion, it would behoove Mr. Hasselhoff to try and do some damage control, by issuing a statement to his defend his behavior.

"My ex-wife, and her latest attorney (who seems to share a thirst for publicity) recently suggested that I had not only been physically abusive to her, but that I was also physically abusive towards our two daughters, as well. This latest claim is not only utterly false, but it is also obscene."

Long story short, David's statement says, "Hey, I admit I'm an alcoholic, but I never beat my wife, who also likes to enjoy drugs and drinking from time to time." He basically calls her out for taking details of their divorce to the public. All in all, I'm sure it will make for some fun dinner conversation over the holidays. In reaction to David's statment, Debra Opri, the lawyer for Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff has a statement of her own. Boo-yah.

"Although Mr. Hasselhoff has publicly admitted the truthfulness and authenticity of a video showing him severely intoxicated in the presence of his minor daughter while she was in his custody, his private conduct behind the scenes continues to be deplorable in that he refuses to accept responsibility for his actions by transferring blame to his ex-wife."

There's more, but it just all sounds the same, pretty much. After that, I suppose Opri said to her client, "Now, I have a diamond bath scheduled at noon, as well as an appointment with my trainer to lift some gold bars as weights. So, if you think you could dig up some footage of David punching you, that'd be awesome, cause I'm running dangerously low on yachts."

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