Even though Demi Moore has dished out hundreds of thousands of dollars in plastic surgery to tighten, lift and sand off any evidence of the aging process, the 44-year-old actress says that she’s still having trouble landing decent film roles. She recently stated in an interview:

“It’s been a challenging few years, being the age I am. Almost to the point where I felt like, well, they don’t know what to do with me. I am not 20. Not 30.

“There aren’t that many good roles for women over 40. A lot of them don’t have much substance, other than being someone’s mother or wife.”

I think I know exactly how this problem could be solved, Demi, HIRE ME TO WRITE A MOVIE FOR YOU. I swear to God, I’ll write whatever you want. I can easily be bought, sold and ground down into a fine dust and snorted. I don’t know what it means, needless to say, call me.

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