As you may have heard, Diddy’s companion and baby mama Kim Porter split with the kids. She has left their NYC pad and hightailed it to L.A. What the hell is she thinking? He may be obnoxious but he has cash! You’re gonna need to afford diapers! Get all you can in the settlement! Anyway, Diddy wasn’t too fazed. He hosted a party in the Hamptons last night and left with two whoreasauruses.

Diddy stayed only an hour after arriving at 2:15 a.m. to “host” a party at Whitehouse in Hampton Bays Tuesday night — but made sure to pick up his paycheck. No wonder his stay was brief: The only other semi-celeb in the house was Samantha Cole. “He hid behind security in the VIP room drinking champagne,” notes one guest. The Kim Porter -free mogul did find two “amazingly attractive” girls in “teeny black dresses,” who were hustled into his caravan of three SUVs just before it sped off.

A two-fer! Does the VIP room sound really lonely to anyone else? If there’s no other celebs around, you’re just there - drinking alone and staring at your security guard’s ass. Wait, that doesn’t sound so bad. Can Joey Fatone be my security guard? It’s either that or that stupid gig he got hosting televised spelling bees. God, that sounds boring. Spelling’s for nerds. Watch it be a huge hit. I love you, Joey. You’re my papi.

(WENN)

Related Stories

• Diddy Celebrates the End of His Relationship, Will Pay for It Later
• What’s the Dilly with Diddy and Sienna?
• Walk Taken: Diddy Wins His First FiFi Award
• Diddy: Did He?
• Does This Explain The Feeling Of Being Underwhelmed?
• Diddy Cashes In On Breakup
• Kim Porter Has Something To Say
• Beyonce Goes Darker
• Diddy Is King of the FiFi
• Princess Diana’s Concert Will Host Tom Jones and P.Diddy