Once again, it's time for me to do my best impression of Count Dracula and count down my favorite five posts from Mr. J. Harvey's weekly contributions to this here ol' site. So, before you go off and enjoy that weekend, which is so seductively beckoning you to inhale margaritas and nachos, take a moment to check out these gems.

1. Jerk Goes To Rehab - J. reports that one of the members of "Laguna Beach" and the "The Hills" that I can remember only because I once saw an episode, where he was on a date with one of the girls and their conversation consisted solely of her going, "What? Why are you smiling?" knowing full well why he was, and him responding (and sounding like Encino Man) "Because you're cute," like 100 times that night. I like that J. finds clever ways to dislike him and most of the cast of those shows.

2. Helen Mirren Didn't Snub The Queen, But If She Did - Who Cares? Helen Mirren Is Rad And Busy. - J. needs to do a British accent more often. I decree it shall be so.

3. Lance Bass Hazed - If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from J.'s boo, Joey Fatone. I'm not kidding.

4. Fired HBO Chief Has A History Of Roughing Up The Ladies - I'm glad J. knows better than to introduce his mama to crazy-ass, Chris Albrecht. Unless she's a ninja. Then, I would be all for it.

5. Penelope and Josh Must Not Have Had A Good Time - Because I really love the expression "promptly started banging other people."

That's all folks!

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