I feel like I’m basically recycling the same Lindsay Lohan joke over and over again, just putting it in a different outfit every time. So, it’s inspiring to read through J. Harvey’s recaps and find myself actually laughing out loud at the observations he’s able to make about the same dozen or so people we write about every day. Kudos, chico!

1. Jessica Alba is Kinda Annoying - Every now and the, J. will post something that illustrates that although we respect each other very much, we share a vastly differing opinion. This is NOT one of those times. I feel like every time a Jessica complains about being too beautiful, a unicorn is brutally shot after having its horn removed without any anesthetic. Don’t these heartless bitches care about the unicorns?

2. Brandy Car Crash Death Incident Getting Increasingly Complicated - J. manages to be lighthearted in the face of the cluster-fuck that constitutes Brandy’s legal problems. And seriously, a “Moesha” reunion show might not be a bad idea, although I have a sneaking suspicion it might just end up being a sex-tape.

3. Highlighted Baby Winner Sued By Former Mouthpiece - More than anything, this is just recognition of J.’s amazing ability to work in a hair joke about Larry Birkhead at any given opportunity. And let me tell you, this man does not repeat himself and that is a challenge.

4. Vanessa Williams Tangles With Dognappers - I love hearing that Vanessa Williams is experiencing some craziness that you would normally associate with Wilhelmina Slater. And J.’s quoting of some “Save the Best for Last” lyrics really set the mood for the post, so that I could be ready when he admitted to confusing Vanessa into thinking he wanted to kidnap her pooch.

5. Justin, Jessica and Cameron Are A Big Pain In The Ass For The People Running “The MTV Movie Awards” - Ah, I have a feeling that they’re a pain in the ass for everyone they meet, but especially for the MTV Movie Awards.

“See, they’re both presenting awards and there’s all this Hollywood bullshit because people are worried that unstable Cameron can’t be allowed to know Jessica Biel is there and is Justin walking the red carpet alone and I’d rather plan a wedding with a bunch of WASPS.”

J. is so right and will probably be jealous when he hears that I’m going to get to be in the special “bloggers room” for the event, so if either lady shows up with cat scratches on her face, or some missing weave, I’ll just blink twice and you guys will all know that shit went down.

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