It’s been a long week, y’all. Well, not that long, really. I just like saying that. Like I’ve been doing some really difficult manual labor for the past five days or so, and I’m going to get some much-needed respite in the shade, where I can rest my weary bones. When, in actuality, I’m simply very, very lazy. Looking over the past week’s posts, I’ve narrowed my selection of J.’s posts down to five of you. For those posts who remain, when I open up the envelope and your picture is inside, you are still in the running toward becoming a post in “Friday Five: J. Harvey’s Top Five.” For those of you posts whose picture I do not hold in my hands, I’ll need you to pack up your things immediately and leave. Thank you and good night.

1. Nicole Richie Fighting For Her Right To Drive The Wrong Way Down The Freeway While Stoned Out Of Her Gourd - I just love the title of this so much. It’s like an old Beastie Boys song title that never made the cut onto one of their cds.

2. Seconds Before Going Home To Make Hamburger Helper For The Fam - J. Harvey takes on the issue that most of the “mainstream media” seem to be avoiding. And that’s that Jon Bon Jovi has been rocking a soccer mom haircut since cutting off his trademark mane and everyone else fronts like it was some kind of makeover worthy of “What Not To Wear” status.

3. Carmine Gotti’s 21st Birthday Party, Brought To You By Mystic Tan And K&G’s Fashion Superstore! - There are several levels of fear I experienced when browsing through these pictures and J. manages to explain what exactly they were.

4. Prince William Is Loaded - I support any post, in which J. compares Prince William to a graham cracker.

5. Felicity Gave Birth To A Soft-Spoken Navel-Gazing Baby - First off, J.’s dead-on with the Keri Russell description. Loves it. Secondly, the post is a wonderful glimpse into how exactly J. Harvey became as twisted as he is, and frankly, we don’t get enough of those.

I know I’m missing a bunch of good ones, but bear with me…I’m tired. And lazy. And my eyes don’t work as good as they used to.

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