Friday Five: Lisa Timmons’ Top Five

Dean Maryjo 052907

It was a shorter week this go-round. But did that stop Lisa from bringing you the deets on everyone? And then giving it a snarky spin? No. Didn’t think so.

1. Florida Hungry For A Joe Francis Sandwich - Not only do we get more thrilling news of karmic payback, but Lisa gives us this last sentence - “Ooh, this doesn’t look good for Joe. I mean, just look at the way Florida is shaped. It’s already semi-hard. ” RAUNCHY!

2. Need A Kidney And Want To Get Famous? - I found this story topic for Lisa to write about. It’s about a new Dutch tv show where a dying lady decides which dying person gets her kidney. And yeah, I have one kidney so it’s a subject I can sorta relate to and oh yeah,ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? And also thank you to Lisa for letting me know the Dutch are good at math. Who knows that stuff? Lisa does!

3. Nicky Hilton Needs To Get Hit By A Drunk Driver - Not only was the story hot but Lisa’s headline could have just existed on its own. All of our ten readers read that, and simply nodded. “True.”

4. At Least She Didn’t Find Out From His MySpace Page - This one’s about how Tori Spelling’s husband ex-wife found out she had lost her husband via to Tori through Page Six and not him. Ouch. Check out the pic. Doesn’t the ex-wife look like rich, aloof Laura from “Project Runway”? Anyway, I just like how Lisa summed it up:

I’ve decided that the best way to soften the blow in a case like this, is to deliver the news via Strip-A-Gram. Yeah, while it’s happening you’re still feeling hurt, but also mildly aroused. It’s almost like the relationship never ended.

So true.

5. Paula Abdul Slurs Some Excuses For Being Constantly Wobbly - Lisa puts it exactly how it is. Come back to us, Paula. With your marbles intact!

Friday Five: Lisa Timmons’ Top Five

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