James Brown is so damn virile, he’s having children from the grave. Zombie love-babies. Sigh, I wish. I was just making this more sensational than the truth because…that’s what I do. Yet another woman has come forward to claim that the Godfather of Soul is actually her father…of soul? LaRhonda Pettit claims that she has proof of Brown’s parentage in her possession, DNA test results.

“I look like my daddy, I walk like my daddy, I talk like my daddy. I even have bow legs just like my daddy. That’s because I’m James Brown’s eldest daughter. I’m just heartbroken he isn’t alive to hear me tell him.”

OMG, bow legs? Is he also Christina Aguilera’s daddy?

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