A friend of mine feels “Ari” can do no wrong, and all those stories about him being a total donkey are false and created by jealous bitches. He stopped feeling this way when “Ari” started shaving his chest. Jeremy Piven got into a loud argument with his aged mother in a Hollywood restaurant the other night. He’s a grown-ass man, and she’s like 97. What a douche. Maybe he should have just taken her out in the parking lot and beat her with her walker.

Spies at Nobu Malibu spotted Piven having “a very loud argument” with his own mother Friday night. “It was so venomous, the entire restaurant could hear them. I don’t know what they were arguing about, but it was loud,” said the onlooker, who noted that perturbed patrons included CAA agent Rick Nicita, who was sitting at a nearby table with Rob Reiner and a group of friends. A rep for Piven did not return calls.

Maybe it was about something heartfelt - like a sick relative, or Piven doesn’t like her boyfriend. Or maybe it was because she refuses to keep talking about HIM, HIM, HIM. Seriously, he’s the type to wank in front of a mirror. Remember a few months ago when he was insulting people in restaurants for working in restaurants when he couldn’t get a table? And tipping wait staff with “Entourage” DVD’s? And claiming that John Cusack is jealous of his huge success? Yeah. Jeremy Piven = Dick.

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