(WENN)

Jordan, aka Katie Price, has given birth to a baby girl with orange skin and implants. Cheese people are starting to birth cheese babies. It was inevitable. Color me aghast the other day when Ri-Ri Harvey asked me “who’s that British girl I saw on E! That’s a funny show!” Momma, no! I had to hug myself and rock back and forth, keening.

The model gave birth at 8.49 this morning, with beaming hubby Peter Andre by her side.

The baby, yet to be named, was delivered by caesarean section and weighed 6lb 13ounces.

A spokesperson for the couple said: “Peter Andre and Katie Price are happy to announce the birth of their first daughter.

“They are absolutely over the moon with the new addition to their family and delighted to have a sister for Harvey and Junior - it is a dream come true!

Let’s hope this kid won’t be falling in tubs and getting scalded and experiencing the amount of harm Harvey has. They practically let that kid raise himself! Jordan is much too busy blathering on publicly about whether her gay husband can get it up post-meningitis. They should have a mansion in Newport, and a camp where they educate children about taste and class.

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