Justice Is Served
Lately, we’ve been on a bit of a legal kick over here at Jossip headquarters.
First, of course, there was the fight for custody of Anna Nicole Smith’s fortune, followed quickly by Joe “Tax Evasion Gone Wild” Francis’ incarceration, Don Imus’ wrongful termination (or was it breach of contract?) suit, Jared Paul Stern’s unabashedly settlement-motivated vendetta against the New York Post and, last but not least, Paris Hilton’s sentencing.
And since some of these celebrity courtroom battles are enough to make your head spin, today, we have a somewhat tamer—albeit more obscure—judiciary tidbit.
So, apparently, there’s a judge in Fresno County who’s been publicly admonished for making “discourteous and sarcastic” remarks. We hear he’s kind of like the Don Rickles of the bench!
Anyway, we love nothing more than snarky behavior, so read on to hear some of Judge Petrucelli’s tried and true courtroom zingers.
In one February 2006 case, Petrucelli prodded a defendant charged with driving more than 100 mph while being pursued by a California Highway Patrol officer.
“How is it that you didn’t notice him in your back window? They drive those really funny-looking cars, you know, they’re different colors,” Petrucelli said. “Didn’t you notice that his car was keeping up with you? See, that rear-view mirror is for something besides fixing your hair and stuff, you know.”
Ha. “Funny-looking cars.” But wait, Petrucelli’s just getting started!
Later that month, Petrucelli appeared to threaten a speeding defendant with a higher fine if she contested the charge, the commission said.
“What could you possibly explain, that you think the radar was wrong or what?” the judge said. “The fine is going up by the minute, so you understand. I mean, just tell me what you think you could possibly say to make me lower the fine?”
ZING!
We just hope Petrucelli starts patenting those punchlines. Word has it notorious joke-stealer Robin Williams has taken to lurking around the courthouse, looking for his next bit.