Wellness role model Lindsay Lohan’s alcohol-detecting ankle bracelet actually worked. Lindsay’s lawyer got the bat signal from it when Lindsay “relapsed”. Lawyer Blair Berk was distracted from Lindsay’s Dad’s heavy breathing on her voicemail by the need to find Lindsay’s ass before she got drunk and high and got into a car chase. She was too late.

Sources say last Sunday, just before midnight, mega-lawyer Blair Berk got an ominous signal. The signal came from the SCRAM device that Lindsay agreed to wear on her ankle. The device tests for alcohol use and sounds an alarm to a designated person when alcohol is detected. We’ve learned that Berk was the designee.

Scram, I’m drunk! Scram, I need to mow down my former personal assistant! Jenni or Tarin or someone’s Mom or whomever was picking up her dirty underwear and buying coke for her so she wouldn’t get spotted. This lawyer must have a tight schedule with this chick on her hands.

(Flynet)

More photos of Lindsay Lohan in happier times after the jump.

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