With TMZ on her speed-dial, I'm sure, Lindsay Lohan very efficiently relayed her official statement to the media concerning her current stint in rehab.

"Lindsay admitted herself to an intensive medical rehabilitation facility on Memorial Day. Because this is a medical matter, it is our hope that the press will appreciate the seriousness of the situation and respect the privacy of Lindsay as well as the other patients receiving treatment at the facility."

I'm really, REALLY hoping that last sentence was a thinly-veiled jab at her spotlight-lovin' mother. But if anything good is coming of this, then perhaps this accident will serve as a wake-up call for Lindsay to turn her life around. BWAHAHAHA! OMG, I totally couldn't even deliver that with a straight face. But seriously, the upside of this whole mess is that someone will be able to make some money off her car accident.

Find out WTF Lisa means after the jump...

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