Lisa Timmons is my lord and personal savior. She might not be able to find an air conditioning unit that will fit her apartment's quirky windows, but she writes good snark and turns us on to the stories we need to know about.

1. Alexyss Taylor Schools Us On "Vagina Power" - Thank you , Lisa, for turning us all on to the magic of Alexyss Taylor who tells us that "dick can make you slap somebody" and then explain it to her sidekick..her mother.

2. Lisa and Wayne's Liquid Lunch Podcast Episode 28 - Have you guys checked this out yet? Lisa's weekly podcast with our media editor and "The Wayne Stays In The Picture" columnist Wayne Ford is funny, and topical and cracks me up. These two live amidst all the madness we regularly write about and live to tell the tale. Check it out.

3. Katie Holmes Remembering That Not All Men Are Built Like Keebler Elves - One of my two favorite headlines of Lisa's this week. AND the first glimpse that Katie Holmes might eventually be able to resist her programming and escape. Or at least get laid by a heterosexual man.

4. Lindsay Lohan Has More Jobs She'd Like To Do Poorly - This was my other favorite headline of the week. Lisa, I adore you. Lohan is so crazed.

5. Keira Knightley Tired Of Being Admired, Tired Of Playing The Game - That headline perfectly sums up Keira Knightley's bullshit. It won't be that much fun when the spotlight's off you, Ke-Ke!

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