Friday Five: Lisa Timmons’ Top Five

Fresh from the VH-1 Rock Honors in Las Vegas, Lisa was still able to shake off all the Jack Daniels and partying to bring you the hottest and snarkiest in celeb stories. And without catching anything from staying in the Excalibur! Where yellow crime scene tape is a way of life! Someday ASL will be so huge that we'll be able to stay in the finest hotels! Someday. Some very very far away day. Anyway, here's Lisa!

1. Joan Collins Injured By Linda Evans - I just love Lisa's imagining of Linda Evans beating the crap out of Lohan. And then drinking Crystal Light. I remember those ads!

2. Katie Holmes brings cupcakes to "Mad Money" set so that someone on the crew will take pity and rescue her from Scientology - Did you know that Lisa Timmons has a cupcake addiction? No you can't tell from her photos, but it's true. The girl loves cupcakes. At the US party, she ignored all of the starshine celebs around her because they made tiny cupcakes with "US" written on them. Now that's an addiction.

3. Stallone Pleads Guilty And Not Just To Looking Rough - She's right. Why does he look like that? What's wrong with him? Is it time? Bad plastic surgery? Do steroids warp the face? We need to know.

4. Lisa is clearly not Maxim's target demographic - Yeah, neither am I. And despite the gay, I know hot chicks when I see em'. Who did Lohan get with to make the #1 hottest ho on their list? Really? Is cokeface in this year? And her hairline is higher than mine!

5.Lisa can't help riding the rollercoaster that is Tara Reid's sense of style - Seriously, she looks almost uh, good in those pics. Someone sacrificed a baby lamb to Satan!

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Friday Five: Lisa Timmons’ Top Five

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