It's been a great week for snark - particularly since Rosie O'Donnell and Elizabeth Hasselbeck turned that table at the "The View" into "Catfights For Dummies". I haven't seen a fight that good since freshman year of high school when Karen Arthur marched into Biology before class started and banged Tiffany Higgins' face off a table for talking trash about her. Scared the hell out of me! I was just a slip of a homo! Anyway, Lisa Timmons has been monitoring this mess and in between the changing of tires...yes, Lisa can change a tire. What, you misogynist pigs, you didn't think a women of her intelligence, grace, class and unfailing fashion sense could get down there and change a tire? Take a class or something! In between that, she's been monitoring the situation. ALL the situations! Snark never rests!

1. Scott Stapp Gets Arrested And Amazingly Not For Inflicting "Arms Wide Open" Upon The World - I think Lisa's headline says it all. He's a douche. I know it. Ms. Timmons knows it. People in caves in Nepal know it.

2. Mischa Barton Just Wants To Chillax - First off, "chillax" is my new favorite word. Secondly? "Perhaps she's trying to forget what Cisco Adler's giant balls look like. Lord knows I am." Amen.

3.Anna Nicole's Sis Reaches For The Stars - This was one of the more terrifying stories I read this week. Anna Nicole's half sis, who already f*cked her over with a tell-all, wants to get plastic surgery to look like her. She plans to not only appear in "Playboy", but also to attempt to seduce Howard K. Stern to destroy him. Ok, Lex Luthor. I love that headline.

4. Tiffani Thiessen To Play A Doctor - This cracks me up because it's a minor story but Lisa insisted on writing about it for the concept alone. And then Lisa included a link to a clip of Tiffani busting bitches up in the prison yard of some bad tv show. And Tiffani ends with an "i". Heh. Laughs all around.

5. Hey, Remember When Rosie And Elisabeth Threw Down On "The View"? - Priceless for the sarcasm alone, but also includes a link to Rosie O'Donnell destroying Amy Winehouse. Lisa should be commended for the way she yields YouTube. Like a weapon!

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