We Knew This Would Happen
Even hard prison bitches are like deer in headlights when it comes to celebrity. Despite the Earth’s collective wish for Paris to get attacked by a fellow inmate, it turns out that everyone’s being really nice to her. These chicks need to get paroled and understand that out here we’re locked in a prison of our own. A prison where our cellmate is Paris Hilton and we can’t escape!
Inmates actually struck up a chant when Paris went back to her cell earlier today. As she walked by they struck up a chorus, “Paris! Paris! Paris!” We’re told she smiled and waved. Some inmates have been coming up to her cell door, mostly to say hi. One inmate said, “You don’t deserve to be here.” Another made an origami butterfly from a magazine page and slipped it under her door. Another slipped a drawing book under her door. The guards, Paris says, have all been nice.
Struck up a chant? This isn’t the friggin’ homecoming game! This is a vapid racist bitch with little regard for other human beings who lives to remind us that she has tons of money and unearned privilege! I thought you girls knew how to shank people! You would think someone of one of the minorities Paris has slandered numerous times, even on film, would have an issue with her. But no. Fame is hypnotic. I saw Ben Affleck in Harvard Square over the weekend and despite the fact that I am a grown man, it was like Santa Claus was real. He’s very tall and sorta hot. But tall. He hasn’t had a good movie since “Good Will Hunting” yet his presence was utterly fascinating. So I guess the moral of the story is that Ben Affleck will do ok if we’re in the same jail.
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