I've been flexing my supine soothsaying skills to speculate what will happen when Madonna meets her maker?

And I don't mean her trainer, stylist, guru-of-the-day, re-mixer, publicist, photographer or intestinal cleansing intern.

No. Gaze into the crystal ball and reflect.....Madonna.....d-e-a-d.

Now, let me make this clear, this is neither incitement nor an invitation to hasten the departure of the world's most insipid cultural appropriator - the megalomaniacal marketing machine that slithered forth from the muck and goo of original Ciccone sin.

Trifling as she is, there is no earthly justification to emotionally harm (any further) her duly purchased and dually delivered children.

Still, you have to face it, she will leave this earthly plane someday.

And what the hell is going to happen then?

Related Stories

• Madonna Might Have to Return Her African Baby
• Madonna Eats Her Enemies and Those of Her Children
• Justin Timberlake On What Madonna’s Paying Him for
• Madonna Dismissive Of Anna Wintour’s Feelings
• Present-Day Madonna Cursing Slutty Yet-Infinitely-Way-More-Interesting Madonna of the Past
• Madonna Has a Purple Weiner
• Queens Make Up
• New Book Alleges John John Was Busy: Madonna, Trannies, Guys And Hookers
• My Fondest Wish For Celebrity Drama In 1989 Has Finally Come True
• Madonna’s Charity Song