Sources say that Tom Cruise is looking to purchase Becks’ soccer team, the L.A. Galaxy, for 80 million. Damn. That’s some scratch. Is soccer that popular? Granted, soccer players can be hotsy, but does Xenu approve of this? Tom better sublimate his gay lust into more preaching against psychiatry instead of spending that much cheddar on blond guys. Or Xenu will smite him with a laser bolt. From the Death Star. It’s orbiting Uranus.

The Hollywood actor is a huge soccer fan and wants to give his financial backing to the Los Angeles Galaxy.

A source said: “To have Tom’s backing would be amazing - there’s no way Galaxy bosses would turn down that opportunity.”

Beckham signed for Galaxy this January on a reported 128 million five-year deal although he doesn’t start playing for them until next month.

Becks better keep in mind that Cruise ownership comes with Scientology lectures. And jock checks.

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